Here Cums Da Judge...

Okay, that was tasteless -- so sue me. But then, the story behind it is pretty tasteless, too...

OKLAHOMA CITY - Jurors and others in Judge Donald Thompson's courtroom kept hearing a strange whooshing noise, like a bicycle pump or maybe a blood pressure cuff. During one trial, Thompson seemed so distracted that some jurors thought he was playing a hand-held video game or tying fly-fishing lures behind the bench.

The explanation, investigators say, is even stranger than some imagined: The judge had a habit of masturbating with a penis pump under his robe during trials.

The lurid allegations have led to criminal charges against Thompson, brought an embarrassing end to a solid career and shocked many of his colleagues. The case could also lead to a wave of appeals from defendants claiming that the judge was not paying attention while presiding over their cases.

More of that fine, red state high moral character we keep hearing about. Another example in the story is how he fired two people from his office because they gave statements against him. I thought that was illegal? Maybe it's one of those IOKIYAR things...

Disclaimer: I have no idea what Judge Thompson's political party of record is, so I may indeed have my foot in my mouth in referencing republicans with him. But I think the odds are on my side, frankly.